This post was most recently updated on February 6th, 2023
Conflict by itself is not a pleasant word, and most of us tend to avoid it. However, sometimes it is the most adult thing you can do and it can be very productive if both sides are reasonable. What is particularly challenging though is the brainstorming of how to resolve the child/you- UK governess conflict. When it comes to our own families, and especially children we can be a little bit sensitive and that is why good communication is the key.
In order to avoid reaching the revolving stage, it is a good thing to work on it from the very beginning by setting clear and concise expectations. You should talk in detail with your London governess about her specific style in order to see whether it will match yours in the first place. If you want to avoid the “matching” stage, the top-notch agency can do that for you and you can continue with the rest of the process.
So, if already in the beginning there are red flags such as differing belief systems or educating styles, this could be a deal breaker and by direct communication, you are avoiding the conflict before it even begins. However, it takes two to tango and if you feel that the London governess is a good match, you should communicate with the children also in order to find a compromise.
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Let’s Discuss Some Of The Most Popular Factors That Can Cause Child/You- UK governess conflict
Raising children is a hell of a job and it is very difficult for the whole family and that is why it makes sense that it will be challenging for the UK Governess also. Although we have mentioned before that conflict can be stopped before it begins, sometimes that is not possible no matter how great the relationship your nanny has with your kids is. We are all adults, and we of course understand that conflicts are bound to happen here and there. The main factors that are causing the conflict situations:
- Inconsistent rules
- Control issues
- Differences in communication styles
Oftentimes it can be all of these, as they are usually very closely knit. What we can say as a general tip is to take a step back from the situation and make sure to carefully listen to both sides. For a child’s emotional development, it is crucial to let them express their feelings. In that way, you are making the foundation of great communication by letting them be heard. Then, although she is not a child, she is a person whose emotions and impressions need to be validated. Therefore, you need to let your nanny state the issue from her perspective. The most important thing is that the parent and British governess should always have a united front in front of the child in order to avoid creating confusion and mixed feelings.
The Main Ways How to Resolve Child/You-UK Governess Conflict
The rule is that both children and the UK governess are entitled to as much time they need in order to clarify the situation. When you are giving both sides a chance to express themselves, will elevate their empathy and understanding for each other.
Some of the most popular ways to resolve this conflict are:
- Clear communication from the very beginning
We are aware that all this sounds a little bit perfect and in the heat of the argument words can be said, but we need to make sure to behave ourselves and to set the example for our children to do that also.
Clear Communication From The Very Beginning
Communication is the key when it comes to conflict resolution and avoidance of the conflict also. By communication healthy, we actually think of keeping the lines of communication open at all times. Of course, both sides need to be respectful and keep quiet while the other side speaks, but the essence of the communication needs to be the openness and freedom to express your opinions even when they are different.
Let’s say that your child is a bit demanding and has a specific view of the world, the British governess needs to know that from the very start. Every child is different and unique and that is the beauty of the children and caring for them of course, but by knowing their habits immediately, you will make both your and your nanny’s life a lot easier.
Even when you are the one having conflict with the governess, and not your kid, you need good communication skills. For example, if you don’t agree about something, make sure to enable sharing ideas, concerns, and alternative suggestions.
One of The Best Ways Of How To Resolve the Child/You – UK Governess Conflict Is To Be Consistent
Consistency can be difficult since we live in a very hectic period. Being consistent is really challenging when all around us is not stable and is constantly changing. However, not to be cheesy, the only thing that you can control in this case is yourself, and if we choose, we can be consistent enough. Some would say that the only thing stable is actually changing itself, however, children need consistency. They are the ones who need stability even more than us in order to become self-confident people later, and that is why we need to make a special effort to be consistent with them.
Basically, the same thing is happening when you are setting rules for your kids. What can cause a mix-up and doubts in a child is if your UK governess has different rules than you do. That way, if for example in the morning you say to your child that today they are not allowed the screen time, and in the afternoon the governess allows them, that will create a lot of confusion in the future. Precisely because of this, consistency is the key.
As a good parent, you should communicate these things well ahead of time in order to avoid future conflicts. Even though can be exhausting, you need to make sure to talk at length about rules, boundaries, and expectations with your governess so that you can be sure everyone understood what they need to do. In the end, the most important thing is that if you require your nanny to enforce certain rules or behaviors (no eating on the sofa or similar) please be sure to enforce the same with your children when you are in charge.