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I don’t want our neighbors using our pool without asking first. How can I address that?


Q. We moved into this house with a swimming pool about two years ago and we love it. When we became friends with one of our next door neighbors, we invited them over to use our pool. Like, my husband sort of casually said, “Come on over and try our pool sometime.” They didn’t — not that we know of anyway — because we had some out of town trips we had to make last summer.

Since it has been so very, very hot this summer, my husband was talking to them a couple of weeks ago about our sprinkler system and the heat, etc., and they said they thought they might take us up on our offer to come use the pool. He said he told them that would be fine.

We think they came over one day recently when we were gone for the day at some doctor appointments. My question is, wouldn’t it be the proper thing for them to do to let us know when they want to come over to use our pool? Or since my husband was so vague about it, do you think they feel they can just come over any time?

It just makes me feel uncomfortable that I could look out the window at any time of the day and see them in our pool, or am I being too sensitive? What if I ask them to let me know when they want to come over? And what should I say so I don’t offend them?

A. How “neighborly” of your husband to invite your neighbors to come use your pool. It would have been wise of him to add: “Just give us a call to make sure we are going to be home and that we can test the water to make certain it is okay.”

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Regardless, your neighbors should understand the polite course of action for them would be to call you to reconfirm with you coming to use your pool would be okay. Since they apparently do not understand it is proper to contact you first, you can still feel comfortable discussing the subject with them.

Dianne IsbellSat, July 30, 2022 at 6:00 PM·3 min read

Q. We moved into this house with a swimming pool about two years ago and we love it. When we became friends with one of our next door neighbors, we invited them over to use our pool. Like, my husband sort of casually said, “Come on over and try our pool sometime.” They didn’t — not that we know of anyway — because we had some out of town trips we had to make last summer.

Since it has been so very, very hot this summer, my husband was talking to them a couple of weeks ago about our sprinkler system and the heat, etc., and they said they thought they might take us up on our offer to come use the pool. He said he told them that would be fine.

We think they came over one day recently when we were gone for the day at some doctor appointments. My question is, wouldn’t it be the proper thing for them to do to let us know when they want to come over to use our pool? Or since my husband was so vague about it, do you think they feel they can just come over any time?

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It just makes me feel uncomfortable that I could look out the window at any time of the day and see them in our pool, or am I being too sensitive? What if I ask them to let me know when they want to come over? And what should I say so I don’t offend them?

A. How “neighborly” of your husband to invite your neighbors to come use your pool. It would have been wise of him to add: “Just give us a call to make sure we are going to be home and that we can test the water to make certain it is okay.”

Regardless, your neighbors should understand the polite course of action for them would be to call you to reconfirm with you coming to use your pool would be okay. Since they apparently do not understand it is proper to contact you first, you can still feel comfortable discussing the subject with them.

You might open the conversation with:

“Gosh, it really has been extremely hot lately and we want to again invite you to come over and use our pool, but if you could just give us a ‘heads up’ of when you want to come over, we want to make sure we have tested the water to make certain it is totally safe and that we have put on the cleaner to clear out any leaves that might have fallen into the water. We don’t test it and clean it every day if we know we probably will not have time to use it that day or for a couple of days.”

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This conversation should solve the problem of having them come over any time of the day or night.

Pool party dilemma

Q. My husband and I are thinking about having a pool party and inviting some of our co-workers, neighbors and friends.

Would it be in poor taste if I put a comment on the bottom of the invitation for them to bring their own beach towels? I just wouldn’t have enough towels. We have received invitations asking us to bring our own drinks or a food item to a party, so I think we could ask them to bring their own towels. My husband thinks if I do, it will be tacky and that I should just go out and buy more towels. Your opinion please.

A. It is perfectly proper for you to add the comment requesting your invited guests to bring their own towels. They would probably feel more comfortable using their own towels and wrapping them around themselves throughout the party, or when they are ready to leave so their car seats don’t get wet. As a well-prepared hostess, however, you will still want to have a stack of towels near the pool for those guests who forget to bring a towel or if extra dry towels are needed.


Scoopearth Team

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