If the heart beats still, the body is not always at the rendezvous. Stress, fatigue, temptations: everyday life threatens … Everyone invent his sexuality, outside of all established norms. The essential thing is to testify to the other the depth of his desire.
Each of us is the hero or heroine of the history of his life. We carry in our own mythology made of fairies and dragons, and archetypal characters (father, mother, prince charming, old sage …). It is about our global history as well as our sexual history. To take stock of it and to grasp the role played by its partner makes it possible to clarify its course and to place it in a fundamental symbolic dimension.
2. During the sexual life lived together, a number of events occurred. Magical moments, others much less. And there are situations where you want to say yes without restriction. Others are marked by refusal. More prosaically, there are acts, positions, sexual behaviors that we have enjoyed and that we validate. To take stock of what requires continuity and what calls for a stop, places sexuality on the ground of shared pleasure, a pleasure that allows us to grow together in the relationship.
3. The encounter between two people who finally decide to “pair” is almost always an erotic encounter. We choose the other because it arouses in us emotions and disorders that engender desire. We know, the habit, the daily life, the arrival of children, financial and professional problems … all this makes us lose sight of the dimension of eros. To wonder whether we are still an erotic choice for the other allows us to refocus on the dimension of seduction necessary for any relational continuity.
4. The libido is an expression of the vital force that inhabits each and every one. It is expressed both in the couple and outside of it: professional life, passions … To question one’s sexual life is also to wonder about the being of desire that one is – what right to pleasure I give myself with the other, I agree (or not) with others -, on masturbation, etc. These questions and the answers that accompany them are essential to a sensible and honest assessment in order to better understand and better understand the way in which one engages one’s libido in relation to the other.
5. Fantasies are a trigger of desire. It is not uninteresting to ask how our own have evolved, if they are always the same, and especially to grasp what fantastic projection we make and can continue to do on our partner.