Situations in different households might differ, but dealing with a parent’s divorce is always difficult for children. It can be difficult for children to adjust to a new way of life. Above that, sometimes, parents forget how to manage their children.
On the one hand, parents are going through immense hurdles to deal with the divorce process, discovering new alternatives to maintain a good balance of parenthood for their kids. On the other hand, children too suffer a lot. This entire phase becomes a roller coaster ride for them. While some children react naturally, understanding the whole situation, some experience a lot more struggle than expected.
Since not every kid is the same, the journey could be different. But the good news is that parents can still identify these effects on their children and take the necessary actions immediately.
Why Are The Initial Years The Toughest?
According to recent studies, children suffer the most in the initial years of their parent’s divorce.
. In the initial years, parents still fought regarding the stuff that made them take a divorce in the first place. They keep poking the other partner for their mistakes, especially in front of the kids. It is wrong! Children tend to be distressed, angry, anxious, and doubtful throughout this period. Being their parents, instead of expecting them to behave like adults, it’s your responsibility to act like one.
Most children seem to have adjusted themselves. They start to adapt to this new lifestyle, or in some cases, new family, and are at ease with this new form of living. Others, on the other hand, take time to go back to “normal.” As a result, this small majority of kids have continued or perhaps lifelong issues with the whole situation.
Effects of Divorce on Children by Age Group
According to numerous family law solicitors, divorce brings equal emotional turmoil for parents and children. However, the journey can be more of an emotional roller coaster ride full of emotions, pain, and sadness for children.
Young kids: Children aged 5 to 10 often have trouble understanding the entire condition. They have various confusions about how their lives are going to turn around. In just a few months, their lives are completely transformed. They start having doubts about whether their parents love them or not. Or the distance will make their parents fall in love with them.
Grade school kids: Grade school kids often blame themselves for the whole divorce situation. They assume that their parents are separating because of their mistakes. They consider the separation a result of the punishment their parents give them.
Teenagers: They become enraged at their parents, and the changes divorce would entail for the family. They may blame either one of the parents for the family’s dissolution or both parents for the family’s turmoil.
Of course, every situation and every child is different. However, if regular disputes are the reason for the divorce, the kid might be slightly more relaxed after the dissolution.
With these factors in mind, here are some of the crucial effects that you might observe in your kid throughout your divorce journey:
Effects of Divorce on Children’s Academics
Divorce is undoubtedly the most challenging phase for the entire family. But for kids, when they are trying to analyze and process the whole dynamics of their changing lives, they might end up losing their attention and interest in their studies. However, in some instances, some children face an extreme increment in their academic grades. The disruption in their changing lives indicates poor academic performance as one of the repercussions of the divorce on children. Increased neglect, stress, and distraction can make them lose focus on academics.
Loss of Faith in Love
Senior solicitors state that despite wanting to have a much more stable relationship than their parents, children often end up losing faith in love or marriage. They set up a particular belief in their conscious mind (or sometimes in their unconscious mind) that they don’t deserve a romantic relationship or that their partner will somehow end up breaking their heart. Little research has shown that the propensity to divorce is almost as high as that of non-divorced parents.
They Might Withdraw From Society
Various studies have suggested that divorce can also impact children’s social lives. You might notice that your extrovert child suddenly becomes the most introverted in the group. Children whose parents go through divorce have difficulty understanding and accepting the outer world. They tend to believe that if their parents leave them, others might too.
This whole process will make them overthink and over-feel a lot of things. You can see them losing interest in the things they once loved. As a result, you are responsible as parents for restoring your child’s morale and confidence.
Destructive Behaviors
Marijuana is the most consumed substance by adolescents. Children whose parents get divorced at a young age tend to seek escape from reality and thus end up using substances like alcohol, drugs, marijuana, or tobacco. These substances cause to release of dopamine. The dopamine rush maneuvers the brain to repeat the rewarding behavior. Therefore, people end up using it repeatedly. Many Solicitors have told us that children who go through a divorce are more likely to get involved in such processes, which makes people feel happy or suitable for the time being.
They Start To Feel Guilty
Kids, especially young kids, do not understand the complications of relationships. They hardly see if there’s anything wrong with their parents, mainly when parents act entirely casually in front of their kids, which is a good thing to do. However, these circumstances create a state of confusion for the child. They often wonder what is going on in their family or why their parents are getting separated. They start to seek their explanations for it, thinking about whether or not their parents love each other or if it’s entirely their fault.
Parents might think this is nothing, or they will slowly adapt to the new change. However, they don’t know that this minor issue can also lead to significant health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and whatnot. You see, guilt results in pressure, pressure in depression, and depression is the root cause of so many health issues.
Providing context, early detection, and seeking therapy for the children to evaluate their responsibility in a divorce can help avoid these guilty feelings among children.
They Are Unable To Adjust To Their New Lives
In some cases, when one of the parents gets remarried or starts seeing other people, the children usually don’t like the new changes in their lives. They have a hard time accepting that things are no longer the same as they once were. After divorce, kids get affected by having to learn that this will be their new life from now on. A new family, a new location, a new school or college, or even a new culture can all feel like a foreign land.
Wrapping Up!!
While these are some common effects of divorce on children. There might be other changes too. Or perhaps your child wouldn’t be so difficult to understand the whole adjustment.
In this way or that way, families slowly understand the tenderness of the whole situation. Without delay, they take legal advice from supporting organizations like The Law Firm and counseling, therapy, or medication help from renowned doctors. With the help of solicitors, you can make this whole adjustment more feasible for the sake of both parents and the child.
