When you’re pregnant it can feel like a full time job navigating through the “do’s and don’ts” of what to do; it can feel super overwhelming! In an effort to cut through the noise, we created bebo mia’s 5 Ways to Have a Kick-Ass Pregnancy and Birth that will help take away some of the stress of preparing for birth.
Before we dive into the nitty gritty, I want to start off by saying that there is no one perfect way to navigate pregnancy or birth, because what is perfect for one person is not perfect for another. Also there are areas of pregnancy and birth that are outside of our control, which can feel scary and really uncomfortable. So I want to take a minute to just validate that it’s okay if you are feeling scared or uncomfortable; not being in control can do that to a person, so it makes a lot of sense if you are feeling that way.
With that being said, there are some things within our control that can help contribute to having a kick-ass pregnancy and birth!
Table of Contents
1. Find a provider that makes you feel comfortable and listened to
Finding the right provider for you can be a game changer. Depending where you live will influence the type of Healthcare Providers (HCP) that are available to support you through your pregnancy and birth. There are Midwives, Obstetricians and some Family Physicians who can deliver your baby.
It is really important that you feel comfortable and listened to by your HCP. This person, or a member of their team, is going to be attending your birth, and that is a big deal! You want to make sure that your HCP is going to give you all the information necessary to make an informed decision, and respect whichever choice feels right for you.
Plus, the more comfortable you feel with the people supporting your birth, the more you are able to relax during labour, which is a really important aspect to coping with sensations of labour!
2. Put a pause on watching Grey’s Anatomy, What to Expect When You’re Expecting or basically any cinematic version of giving birth
We are living in a remarkable time for tv and movies, and by no means am I suggesting that you stop that hobby. But did you know that birth and labour as portrayed in movies and tv shows is wildly inaccurate?
Birth in mainstream media is shown to be scary, painful and a very medicalized experience, and this actually influences how pregnant people anticipate their birth to go, but that is rarely the case. Collectively, the bebebabes have attended hundreds of births, and for manyof our clients their birthing experience was positive, not scary and not what you think birth is going to be like.
3. Say No Thanks to getting weighed at your prenatal appointments if it stresses you out.
It is a common practice and understanding that when you go to your prenatal appointment you’re expected to get weighed.. But when we take into consideration other variables such as a history of disordered eating/eating disorders, weight stigma, someone’s relationship with their body, etc., this seemingly casual task can actually be very stressful.
Did you know that you can say no to getting on the scale?You read that correctly! As with all medical treatment/assessment options you are able to decline. You do not have to be weighed at your prenatal appointments, unless there is a specific, medically reason that your health care provider needs your weight. Unless your weight directly relates to medical decisions about your care, you do not have to do it.
Having the option to move away from having some much attention put onto weight can be helpful for some folks during pregnancy and birth.
*Depending on your HCP, as well as the amount of weight stigma you experience can influence how this request is received by your provider. If you are looking for resources to support you in having this conversation, Health At Every Size is a great resource to start.*
4. Don’t tell people your exact due date
As you approach your estimated due date, it makes sense that you might start to feel ansty or anxious about your upcoming birth. You are over being pregnant and very much ready to meet your baby. You may be physically uncomfortable, mentally exhausted or just generally “done” with being pregnant, so going past your due date can feel wildly frustrating, even though on average babies are born 5 days past their due date.
Every day you go past your due date, is another day stuck in limbo, waiting for labour to happen. And when family and friends know your due date, they also become anxious to hear about the arrival of your baby. A lot of pregnant people find themselves inundated with messages and phone calls of people ‘checking in’ to see how everything is going. AKA “did you have the baby yet?!” Which can take the frustration up to a level 10 real quick. Because no one is more anxious for the baby to arrive than YOU.
So in an attempt to avoid feeling frustrated at the end of your pregnancy, rather than telling people your due date, give them a due month, or a time frame of when the baby is expected. You could say “the baby is due in early Spring”, or “this little one is going to be arriving sometime in August!”
This gives people an idea of when to expect the baby, without putting any pressure on a particular date.
5. Find a doula/birth worker that you connect with
In the words of Jake Peralta of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, “A doula is like a vaginal Gandalf, guiding you through the birthing process.” As a doula myself, I fully endorse this reference. A certified birth doula is someone that is there to guide you, support you and comfort you through the birthing process.
Doulas are also there to answer any and all of your questions during your pregnancy, like the ones that you Google at midnight because you’re anxious that there is something weird happening with your vaginal discharge? That’s when you text your doula. A doula is there to help take the stress out of pregnancy, birth and postpartum, and there are tons of benefits to having a doula at your birth including shorter labors, less pain and better overall experience.
That concludes bebo mia’s 5 Ways to Have a Kick-Ass Pregnancy and Birth! We hope that you find it helpful, informative and importantly, that it alleviates some of your stress and anxiety when it comes to pregnancy and birth.
For more information on doulas, birth work and support check out bebomia.com.
This is for informational purposes only, and is not to be taken as direct medical advice, consult with your HCP should you need support.
