Too often, our egos are bigger than us and they end up exploding in our faces. We are governed by pride. We are eternal servers of ego and supermassive walls blocking our horizons. We never take chances. We never text first, always thinking, what if I am not their type? What if I embarrass myself? We always think of the potential failures instead of the potential success and that’s what’s pulling up the breaks. We’ve become workaholics, socially distant hiding behind our big screens.
We spend years scrolling up and down on our phones instead of taking life into our own hands. We hope someone will text us so we can finally get a date and when someone does, we are not satisfied with the person that texted us. We have these ideologies of our perfect match and yet, we don’t do anything to fight for that person nor do we accept what’s coming our way.
To be happy, genuinely happy, you have to get rid of the ego, my friend. The ego has got to go. Pride too. You have to be humbler, more human, more selfless, and more honest. You cannot shut down and surround yourself with emotional barriers just because you are too shy or you’ve been hurt in the past.
For us to maintain a healthy and meaningful relationship, we have to understand the other side. Their pain. Their past. Where they come from. We need to see them.
Some people are still healing from stuff they don’t talk about. Still. Try to understand. Try to see through their prism. Try to see their worldview. Observe it. be patient.
You are hurt. Don’t act impulsively. Anger is temporary. If you manage to chill and calm yourself down for a few moments, you’ll see how you are angry less and finally not angry at all. Pain is temporary too. In the majority of cases, we usually realize we overreacted, and the problem isn’t the problem itself, but rather, our reactions to the problem. When you are not mad you see things.
Ask and understand first. It takes some practice, but you’ll get there.
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Offer them a shoulder to lean on. Lend them an ear.
If you get into a fight, call them first. Make that first step. Take your ego, fold it, and crush it. Be human. Be yourself. Follow your emotions. Your heart. And if it doesn’t work, at least you know you’ve done everything in your power. At least you know it’s not your fault it didn’t work. At least you know you live life fully. You immerse yourself. You put in the effort and you go the extra mile.
If you like someone, tell them. Some may not appreciate your effort but trust me, you are a much braver person than they are. You are real, and real is indeed rare.
Doesn’t matter if you “embarrass” yourself and someone doesn’t reciprocate. That’s not embarrassing, it’s more like putting yourself out there. And if something doesn’t turn out for the best, so be it. More time for you to keep rolling and focus on someone else who’ll reciprocate. Imagine being in love with someone who does not have those feelings for you and you never ask, waiting for months for something to happen and it never does – you are just wasting your time and leaving in false hope.
But once you jump over that gigantic mountain which is small but only looks gigantic in your head, everything is easier. Eventually, the right person will come along. The one who’ll see all your efforts and will recognize your good heart and you’ll see that everything happens for a reason. Because, you, darling, are braver and kinder unlike the rest of the world still being unable to burst that bubble called ego. You are real and real is rare. Like a gem in a desert.
Source: The Power of Silence
